The Boomers

Boomer moments. We all have 'em.

Share your favorite boomer moments with us! Send us a link to your video on YouTube and we’ll add it to our collection. We’ll start out with a lovely story from The Boomers very own Joey La. This will warm your heart, for sure.

Here’s a great video of Carla Ulbrich who opened for us at the Hope for Haiti show on 3/18. This chick is nuts!

Here are a few we found on YouTube that struck our funny bone.

And a few jokes you might relate to…

The Accident

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. “So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?”
“Yes” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite counter tops.”

THE 401-KEG PLAN

If you, 1 year ago, purchased $1,000.00 in shares of Delta Airlines, you would now have $49.00. If you had purchased $1,000.00 in shares of AIG, you would now have $39.00. If you had purchased $1,000.00 in shares of Lehman Brothers, you would now have $0.00. BUT, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer, drank all of the beer, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would now have $241.00. Therefore, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle!!!!!!

Fly a Kite!

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air,
the wind catches it for a few seconds,
then it comes crashing back down to earth.

He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband,

‘You need a piece of tail.’

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
‘Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.’

How The Fight Started….

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a Cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started.

My wife walked into the den & asked “Whats on the TV?” I replied “Dust.” And that’s how the fight started.

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her  husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. ‘The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’ And that’s how the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our  upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a scale. And that’s how the fight started.

I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our  anniversary?’ It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet  appreciation.  ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’ And that’s how the fight started.

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’  She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’  So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’ And that’s how the fight started.

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that’s how the fight started.

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’  ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’ And that’s how the fight started.

7 Responses to “Boomer Humor”

  1. Hi guys

    I played with Bob Brescia on and off since high school in 1968. Whatever you choose to call him, his name (nome de guerre) is and always will be Breaststroke – ask him to tell you the story or I will LOL. BTW if you should need a Boomer bassist who can’t read music but has the ears and chops like no other. but can’t sing because at his age his voice sounds like a bullfrog (actually, the bullfrog has better voice quality) – give me a call.

  2. admin says:

    George:

    Will ask Bob about the Breaststroke thing. Thanks for the tip. I’m always looking for good ammo.

  3. reception says:

    DID DENNIS CARMELLA EVER PLAY WITH A GROUP CALLED THE CARAMEL?? in the late 60’s

  4. admin says:

    I don’t know but i can find out for you

  5. interesting take on the subject, count me as a new subscriber!

  6. MellowDee says:

    After Joey La’s story, I am definitely changing my oil tomorrow…and it’s not due for another 1,200 miles!!!! Hey Bobby…Hope things are well. I hope to check out a “Boomers” gig soon. You guys are a RIOT!
    MellowDee

  7. admin says:

    Dennis painted my living room last week.My wife said that he worked very quietly except that every once in a while she would hear ahhh, girr, or some other sound that accompanied bending over or switching positions.

Leave a Reply